unschedule me

the word "unschedule" is not a real word. it is not in the dictionary and the only reason your spell check might recognize it is perhaps because it has kind of become ultramod business slang. but i don't think it is a real word.

it came into my vocabulary working at goodlife. personal trainers have to schedule their clients in order to get paid; consequently, if they need to remove the sessions without canceling them, they must unschedule the session. does that make sense?

the reason i bring it up is this: i think unschedule might be the truest way to describe what i am doing to myself here. i have come to realize after the past eight days in a decidedly laid-back country that i am just as decidedly on a schedule. i make my lunch the night before. i work. i know what time america's next top model is on. i, for the most part, know when it is someone's birthday. i can be in a rush like nobody's business.

but here. here, rushing is truly nobody's business. people don't seem to know how to rush. the city seems to permanently be on a long lunch, and just when you think they should all be getting back to the office, it's quitting time and everyone is on the bus home, fresh flowers in hand, white teeth gleaming in the late afternoon sun.

for the first time in a very long while my days have been filled with nothing. this is not to say that i'm not doing anything, but right now, before i start work of any kind, i am not on a schedule of any kind. i am, for lack of any better term, on vacation right now. perhaps there is a better term: i am on hiatus. i will return to working, but i'm on a rest period- reruns and reality tv shows can take over the ratings, i am on hiatus. and while this sounds lovely, it is also mildly disconcerting. i keep looking at the time expecting it to be 4:30- and it will be 2:17. the days are full of so much time! it is lovely- albeit strange.

and i am trying to adjust to sydney life. i brought my watch along and i have not been wearing it. granted this means that i won't get a watchtan, but it also means i am letting myself be a bit more adrift in the day. yesterday i was going to take the bus into the city to walk around the harbour and buy some cheap beach shoes in chinatown (which i did) but on my way i took myself for lunch- fish and chips at the naremburn shops beside where i'm staying. i ate my fish and chips on the sun-dappled patio that overlooks the road. and while i ate i watched three buses pass me by. three! this is a feat for me. i didn't scarf down lunch to gaspingly make the fast-approaching bus. i ate my sole and salty chips and read my book. and nothing happened- nothing was better or worse because i missed those buses. another one came along and it was just fine. and so was i.

so perhaps there is an even better term than hiatus. i am not on hiatus; i am in the process of unscheduling myself.